Beware the Storks!
by lightningpelt
Summary: Kuwabara finally confronts Yukina about the tricky business called love... but things are interrupted by a rather peeved little fire demon by the name of Hiei. The concerned brother then attempts to arm his sister with vital knowledge of the human breeding cycle... though he's rather misinformed himself. Nothing dirty, just cute hilariousness.


**(A/N) Just a little something I whipped up. I'm also listening to Viva la Gloria by Green Day. Fear me when I'm listening to Green Day, dagnabbit. *shakes fist vaguely* *falls backwards* **

**I do not own YYH. Sorry to disappoint. **

**- EDIT - K, so I did some slight revisions to try to get Hiei and the others more in character. Mostly tweaking of dialogue and the such. Although Hiei might be a bit more soft-spoken then usual- I think that's just how he acts around Yukina vs the dudes. **

"Y-Yukina-san…" Kuwabara began, tapping his pointer fingers together in a motion of incredible nervousness as he avoided the little Ice Maiden's gaze. "Y-Yu… kina… san…"

The oblivious little girl cocked her head, smiling sweetly. "Yes, Kazuma-san?" she asked, and then her eyes widened as an edge of concern entered her voice. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

"N-No…!" the boy said quickly, waving his hands. "No, that's not… it…"

Yukina cocked her head. "Kazuma-san…?"

Kuwabara blushed furiously, then clutched at the girl's pale hands, catching her by surprise. "Yukina-san… Yukina-san, do you think I could be allowed to love you?" he asked nervously, his eyes wide and earnest. "Do you think… that you and I…"

The girl smiled sweetly, although full understanding eluded her. "Kazuma-san, I care about you deeply. And I don't see any reason why you couldn't-"

She might have said more, but Kuwabara cut her off, pressing his lips tenderly to hers. The girl stiffened, surprised but not frightened, confused but not angry. And then, slowly at first, then more resolutely, she began to respond, reaching up to thread her fingers into his curly hair and moving her mouth against his.

Suddenly, this tender moment was cut short by a tiny, black clad projectile striking Kuwabara Kazuma firmly on the side of the head, knocking him sideways. Hiei picked himself up calmly, brushing the dust from his coat before scowling at the twitching heap that had been in the process of assaulting his sister. Then, shaking his head briskly, he took the stammering Ice Maiden by the wrist and led her away, not bothering with even a glance back.

"H-Hiei-san…" the girl began plaintively, straining to look over her shoulder. "I-Is he alright? I should g-go and…"

"You're not to go near that ningen oaf!" Hiei spat, suddenly bristling from head to toe. "Do you hear me, Yukina? Not to go near him!"

The Ice Maiden's eyes widened, and she shook her head slightly. "Hiei-san, what do you mean?" she asked uncertainly, confused as to why Hiei was speaking to her in such a way. "I-I like b-being around Kazuma-san… and h-he… I don't…"

The Jaganshi's surprise flitted briefly across his face, and he stared levelly at Yukina for a moment. "Wait… you _like _being around...?"

The girl nodded timidly.

Hiei thought for a moment, twitching eyebrows the only outward sign of indecision. Then, he sighed. "You… _want _to be around him?"

Another timid nod.

"… And you _liked _the fact that he just _kissed _you, took advantage of you like some reeking, carrion-eating D-class demon who can't even tie his own shoes?" (What does the tying of shoes have to do with kissing?)

Yukina thought for a moment, then nodded shyly and repeatedly. "It felt good. Although I didn't quite understand…"

The little fire youkai peered over her shoulder at the twitching form still heaped on the ground. His temper was fading, slowly. "You didn't quite understand… but if felt good."

"Yes."

Hiei motioned briskly for her to sit beside him; when she didn't, he practically pulled her to the grass. Then he spread his hands. "Don't Ice Maidens learn this?" he asked, a trifle awkwardly; more then a trifle angrilly. He received only a confused head shake. "You know… 'When a man loves a woman…?'"

Yukina blinked in bewilderment. "We don't talk about love, or anything of the sort," she said honestly. "That's why I'm always a bit confused when Kazuma-san talks about love."

Her brother huffed; by now he had commited himself to the task ahead, seeing no dignified way to back down. Though he had little idea of where to begin, and leaned forward slightly, then rocked back as he tried to gather his thoughts. "Well I got 'the talk' from Kurama, see?" he began bruskly, "So I suppose I'll give it to you." Convinced of his duty as a brother- albeit a secret one –he took on a businesslike air, straightening his spine and reciting, "When a man loves a woman, it's natural to express that love with kissing and holding hands and things of that sort.

"And then- in the case of humans –a stork brings the happy couple a baby! Now don't ask me where the stork gets the baby, or where the baby comes from- maybe ask Kurama; he is a ningen, so he's farmiliar with their idiotic ways." Hiei cleared his throat, then added, "The males of this species can be very possessive and they'll turn violent quicker then you think! They're very territorial, too! So be warned!"

Yukina nodded seriously, her eyes wide. "O-Okay, Hiei-san! I'll be careful!"

"Good. And watch out for those damn storks! If you see one… kill it! I don't want any little… miniatures of that idiot running around and getting under my feet!"

Then he rose, offering his hand and helping his sister up. The now-satisfied brother led the way over to Kuwabara's still-twitching form and nudged the boy with his toe.

"Oi, ningen!" he snapped, rousing Kuwabara with a swift kick to the ribs that made Yukina wince. "Up and at 'em!"

The human sat up slowly, rubbing his head and taking in the two siblings staring down at him. "Y-Yukina-san…!" he exclaimed, his voice a painful squeal to Hiei's ears.

"Kazuma-san!" the girl greeted him happily. "I'm so glad you're alright!" Crouching down beside him, she took his hands. "Hiei says it's alright, so long as we look out for storks!"

"What?" Looking up at the little youkai in utter confusion, Kuwabara squinted critically until, at last, his mind hit upon it. "Are you telling me not to get her pregnant?" he blurted out in that furious screech.

"Whatever that means," Hiei said disinterestedly, "just don't let any storks show up. If you do, you'll have me to answer to." And with that he was stalking away, leaving Yukina content and Kuwabara wondering if the little demon was pulling his leg or completely serious.

**(A/N) Well that was fun. :D Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! **

**Please leave a review on your way out! Maybe if we yell at Kurama enough, he'll come and clean things up. ;) **

**- Revision has motivated me to do a sequel. Watch for it! **


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